What legacy are you creating today? Meditation for 4/24/14

Statue of Juliette Gordon Low

(To see today's photo journal, click Here.)

“Promise little.  Perform much.”  - Yiddish proverb

 “The liar is always lavish with oaths.”  - Pierre Corneille

     Often there is a cascading effect to a broken promise.  If we don’t deliver on a promise to do a necessary task, others have to pick up the slack.  This leads them to break commitments that they have made leading still others to view them as unreliable.  If they try to explain themselves by blaming us for our misdeed, they put themselves in the position of being viewed as a whiner.  If we have promised goods or money to someone else, they have often made plans which require the resources we have committed, and when we do not deliver the same trickling down of negativity occurs.  Of course other times we are in the middle of this equation – someone promises us that they will do something and we make promises to others based upon that commitment.  When they do not follow through, our choices are to take full responsibility and appear unreliable ourselves or to try to shift blame onto the other – neither option is very attractive.  Other times we are faced with someone who cannot follow through with what they have committed to and blames yet another.  And where does it end?  The impact of a broken promise can ripple through dozens of lives, each individual compromised in one way or another.

    Unexpected things happen now and then, but in most instances broken promises can be directly attributed to people-pleasing rooted in fear of abandonment.  Making commitments just because we want other people to like us will lead us down bad paths – the temporary good-will they show us is soon shattered when we do not follow through.  Obviously we need to be able to commit and we need the commitments of others to plan things and function as a society, but when doing so we need to be clear.  If there are contingencies, we need to say there are contingencies so that others can plan realistically.  If we inadvertently put someone in the middle, we need to make it right – a phone call to others affected will go a long way. We over-promise and under-deliver because we want to be liked or we fear that God will not come through for us with what we need in order to get things done – just two more ways that fear sets us up for the very things that we are trying to avoid.  But when we legitimately do get caught off guard, we can remember that staying committed in the face of conflict produces strong character.  And we can remember that under-promising and over-delivering may not get us the accolades we crave up front, but it is the foundation for creating a legacy of reliability.

Today, may I be reliable. 

Have a great Thursday !!
David

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How important is it? Meditation for 4/23/14

Sewee Bay; SC

“How important is it?”  -  Anon

“Don’t sweat the small stuff.  And by the way, it’s all small stuff.”  - Richard Carlson

     There are no shortage of things to get worked up about.  Mechanical things quit working.  We find places are not what they were made out to be, or we tire of them.  People disappoint us, do dumb things, break their word, play games with our emotions – shoot, we disappoint ourselves.  Maybe we fall into the “patience” trap for a while.  We tell ourselves that things will change, we just need to hang in there and “endure” them for a while.  Meanwhile our life slips by as we live like the proverbial donkey chasing a carrot of happiness – we trudge along sure that salvation awaits us at some point in the future.  We go to great lengths to convince ourselves that we will be whole and complete when _________ - fill in the blank. 

     Other times our fear that things will never change expresses itself in anger and we either lash out at others or isolate and poison ourselves with negative thoughts and emotions.  Or, maybe we are so spiritually immature that we require the embers of anger within to motivate us to move forward with life.  Whatever the case, this “patience” thing ultimately becomes a trap that consumes us – we become disillusioned because so few of the things we are being “patient” about come to pass in a manner that satisfies us.

     Acceptance of “what is” is the only path to peace and serenity.  Early on this path comes the unpalatable realization that if we are disturbed the problem lies within us – nothing has the power to upset us but ourselves.  Finding out that we cannot change others is also a difficult thing to come to grips with – after all we figure we have all sorts of power to “win friends and influence people.”   Further along, we find out that what other people think is none of our business – in fact it is irrelevant as to what we are supposed to be doing.  Even worse comes the realization that what WE think is irrelevant to what we are supposed to be doing.  And perhaps the toughest one of all is when we come to realize that almost everything we have ever done in our lives has been a reaction to one fear or another – almost nothing we have done has been rooted in love and faith.

     This is the way to peace – the way to acceptance.  And we can only do it by letting go of one thing at a time.  Ultimately we come to find that none of it is all that important in the big scheme of things – in fact nothing really matters besides building that intuitive contact with God as we understand God.  But with our limited vision today – just for today, we can let go of our need to control and know that all is well and as it should be.

Today, may I let go.

Have a great Wednesday !!

David

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Stay the course !! Meditation for 4.22.14

Collin Braden in Savannah GA

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“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  - Lao Tzu

“The difference between winning and losing is often . . . not quitting.  – Walt Disney

     Perseverance is continued effort on a course of action despite difficulty, failure or opposition.   Nothing new and untested is undertaken without its share of critics, self-doubt and fear.  If the path were well worn, it would not be something new and applause would abound.  But if we are led into uncharted waters, we have to understand that the waters are uncharted for a reason – perhaps others have tried and failed or perhaps no one has ever seen the potential benefit in the course of action we are going to pursue.  But if the message to move forward is clear to us, then go we must.  The first steps are usually the hardest, because once we have built momentum and others see that the path is going somewhere they want to join in the effort.  But even then, we know that we will face obstacles and dead-ends.  

     If we put ourselves in the position that we are going to develop fixed expectations about the outcome of our efforts we limit the potential for new opportunities along the way.  Although we keep our eye on the goal we must remain flexible in our approach and avoid the rigid thinking that comes with these expectations.  When it appears that walls have appeared in our path, if we relax and seek guidance rather than beating our head on the wall in front of us we usually find the what initially appeared as an obstacle really just broadened our horizons.  As we turn each adversities into opportunities our course brings about many new vistas.  But the only time we can seek such guidance and make the decision again to take another “first step” along the path laid out for us in the moment that we face the obstacle; if we don't keep our head where our feet are our anxieties will block these from view.  But if we just persist in the path this moment, around this obstacle, we avoid the normal fears that sabotage us.  One inch at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time we build the legacy of our lives.  What are we doing now?  The answer becomes clear, and we are back on our journey of a thousand miles.

Today, may I persist.

Have a great Tuesday !!

David

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Want beautiful things? Meditation for 4/21/14

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“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”  - Oscar Wilde

“Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live.”  - R. Francis Kennedy

     Some years back, a woman that was very close to me, a picture of health in her mid sixties, was shocked to learn that she had at most a couple of months to live from an aggressive brain tumor.  Shortly after digesting the news, she called her children together and insisted that some good come from her passing.  As we define tragedy in this existence, our own death has to rate among the worst things that can befall us.  This woman’s example lights a beacon for those of us that would see.

     There is no situation so tragic that we cannot improve it with love and compassion.  When news of a major negative thing that will affect our lives comes to us, what is our first knee jerk reaction?  To deny it?  Anger?  Trying to negotiate it away? 

     Is it possible to be loving enough that we look to the betterment of those around us regardless of our own calamity?  Perhaps we can train ourselves to look at crises as opportunities to create beauty, but to do that we must first develop that attitude in the day to day happenings in life.  For the habits we create dealing with the mundane details of life set our pattern when major issues strike.  What small circumstance that would usually annoy us can we find a way to turn into a thing of beauty today?  If we look we will find plenty of opportunity, and if we act on these we will totally change the legacy we leave tomorrow.

Today, may I seek excellence. 

Have a great Monday !!

David

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Can't get enough? Meditation for 4/18/14

Meditating in Forsyth Park; Savannah GA

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"Variety is the spice of life."  - William Cowper

"Everything in moderation."  -  Oscar Wilde

     Many of us struggle with compulsive behavior.  One potato chip, one spoon of ice-cream, one alcoholic drink and we are off to the races.  And it doesn't stop with consumption - our current day society glorifies the "win at all cost" mentality.  There are those of us that endlessly pursue romantic conquests, exercise to the point of injury and diet to the point of unhealthiness.

    I am sure that in some cases there is a genetic predisposition to this behavior and I do not pretend to have the answers to this aspect.  But I do know that in every case I have witnessed it stems from looking outside ourselves to find comfort and security.  There are many problems with this approach to discomfort - first the "cures" never last.  And it always takes "more" to reach the same level of comfort that a previous "dose" delivered.  It seems that the more the afflicted thinks about solutions to the problem the worse it gets.  

     Then problems develop on the other end as the afflicted one goes on "diets" where they deny themselves any comfort at all.  They are irritable and angry and ultimately either launch themselves into some new obsession or "relapse" into the old behavior and are worse than ever before.

     The last thing that seems logical is that a spiritual solution would be the answer.  But in most cases this is precisely the case.  The thing that needs corrected is the need to feel whole and complete, because when we do we don't require anything outside ourselves to feel "ok."  The good news is that those few who realize this and start on a path of spiritual growth soon realize that they don't need "anything" to be whole and complete - they need simply to be rid of the fears, false notions and negative programming that has been ingrained over the years.  

      In some cases, such as the alcoholic or drug addict, the substance that was used to seek comfort can never again be safely used as a physical addiction has set in.  But for one who finds the spiritual solution to obsession, most things can be enjoyed in balance and moderation.  As with everything else, denial and struggle don't work for long.  It is only in giving up the fight and resolving our internal conflicts that a permanent solution can present itself.   

Today, may I enjoy life appropriately.  

Happy Friday everyone !!

David

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What are you pursuing today? Meditation for 4/17/14

Magnolia Plantation; Charleston SC

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"When we avoid facing our emotional pain and sorrow it ultimately robs us of joy and peace."  -  Anon

"The best way out is always through."  -  Robert Frost

     We feel sadness at the loss of friendships and opportunities.  We feel pain when we avoid coming to grips with our fears and anxieties.  We know sorrow when those close to us suffer or die.  Our society often teaches that these are trivial matters, that we need to "pick ourselves up by our bootstraps" and march on.  So we stuff our feelings and march on in our pursuit of happiness, which we are told lies just around the next corner in the form of a new purchase, a new accomplishment, a sexual affair, the right drug or whatever the latest gadget the purveyors are pushing is.

     Happiness is a false sense of well being based upon having experienced some equal or greater offsetting sadness or boredom.  The two are joined at the hip - the pursuit of happiness is equally the avoidance of sadness at all costs.  And when it is boiled down, sadness is most often risking or facing abandonment by others because we are deemed deficient or defective.  It is no pursuit - it is a death spiral into a meaningless life and depression.  Sooner or later no distraction is large or intense enough to divert us from the fact that we have no clue who we are or what we want.

     Serenity.  Peace.  Joy.  These things are states of being rather than emotions.  They arise from within as the result of eliminating those things that conflict us.  These things are not dependant upon circumstances - we can know serenity, peace and joy AT THE  SAME TIME we are feeling sadness and sorrow.  This will seem impossible to the conflicted one, who is sure that salvation lies in the right purchase, the right ritual, the right relationship - and on the madness goes.

     Through the millennia the wise ones who have gone before us tell us that only the proper inter-linking of self examination, prayer and meditation create an unshakable foundation for life.  These allow us to face things directly - and as we do we find our anxieties are always either unfounded or grossly exaggerated.  The only way out is through - and serenity is the goal, not happiness.  Perhaps today we can resolve one more internal conflict in our pursuit of it.  And before we know it, we will find we are at peace, regardless of our circumstance.

Today, may I do the work.

Happy Thursday !!
David

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Think you got it figured out? Meditation for 04/15/14

Ashley River; Charleston SC

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”  – Mark Twain

“For those who believe, no proof is necessary.  For those who don’t, no proof is possible.”  - Stuart Chase

     In and of themselves, our thoughts have no power over us.  We are not responsible for our thoughts – it is our words and actions that we are accountable for.  But our thoughts have a way of becoming ingrained when we do not challenge them, and we start to accept them as fact.  It is when we face the prospect that thoughts that we have come to believe are threatened that we start feeling threatened.  Still more deeply ingrained are the beliefs that we hold that were handed to us by those that raised us and we have never questioned, and when these are called into question our hackles go up quickly.  We all hold beliefs that are inaccurate – we can just look back a year ago and see how many things our minds have changed about.  This process of maturing will continue, and there are ways to accelerate the pace, or at least make it a bit less painful.

     A woman named Byron Katie developed a four step system for challenging beliefs that can work quite well to take our ego out of the way of the growth process.  The first step is to question our belief.  First, we ask ourselves if the belief we hold is true.  (I believe quitting smoking is difficult.)  If yes, we ask ourselves if we absolutely know it is true.  (There are some people who have said that they quit smoking with little or no difficulty – there is a slim possibility it might not be difficult.) Of course we cannot absolutely know anything, but we may still be pretty convinced.  Next we can look at what happens when we believe that thought.  (I keep on smoking.)  Then fourth, we ask ourselves who we would be if we did not hold this belief.  (I would be a non-smoker.)

     Ms. Katie goes on to discuss how we can take these false beliefs and turn them around by asserting thoughts on the other side.  (Quitting smoking is not difficult.)  I have tried it on a few things, and it takes being willing to be willing to change if change is merited in order to begin to change thinking.  But since beliefs that we hold that are false tend to cause a lot of pain as we try to manipulate them into truth, this is a simple exercise well worth using to challenge why we believe what we believe. 

Today, may I challenge my thoughts.  

Have a great Wednesday !!

David

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Want to keep your foot out of your mouth? Meditation for 4/15/14

Ashley River; from Magnolia Plantation in Charleston SC

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"A pedestal is as much a prison as any small space."  -  Gloria Steinem

"If you start off playing dumb, you can always play smart later.  If you start off playing smart, you are stuck."  -  Larry "Flintstone" Flintoff

    Why do we think we have to have the answers?  We have no idea what we don't know, and yet we will find ourselves in situations putting ourselves forward as "the expert."  For some folks this turns into the annoying trait of being a "know-it-all,"  but many of us have become sophisticated enough to act like a fount of wisdom without coming off as obnoxious.  And worse yet is our tendency to stick to a comment we have made in the past even though it is erroneous. We will dig a pit out of a pothole in order to make it appear that we weren't "wrong" when we spouted off some grandiose statement in the past.  Why do we do it?  What possible benefit is there to be gained by acting like we have all the answers?

     Of course it is rooted in our fear of inadequacy.  Deep down we fear that if others see us as insufficient we will be abandoned.  So we open our mouth and make statements of "fact" that come back to bite us.  Even if we are right, we have put ourselves in the position that we "have the answers," and this is a much tougher position to operate from than one of humility.

     We have to remember that true learning is the progressive discovery of our ignorance. For every one thing we learn we find out there are ten more we don't know.  (True learning is not sports statistics or knowing the latest outfit a pop star is wearing.)  Can we ask questions and listen to the responses rather than constantly formulating what our next comment will be when others are talking?  Can we allow ourselves the grace to be wrong, and then go a step further and stop thinking we know anything at all?  Can we realize there are exceptions to every rule and that rules will usually be broken?   When we are giving advice, can we frame it based upon a specific experience we have had rather than making sweeping grand statements?

     Slowing down and becoming attuned to what others need rather than what they are saying often helps because people usually focus on symptoms rather than problems.  And on those rare occasions we have to put our self out there as an expert?  If we can remember to do it humbly and in the spirit of helpfulness we will save ourselves much grief.

Today, may I know I am sufficient.

Have a happy Tuesday !!

David

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Stuck? Meditation for 4/14/14

Folly Beach; SC

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“Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.”  - Friedrich Nietzsche

“Talk doesn't cook rice.”  - Chinese proverb

     The tortoise and the hare paired off in a footrace was the subject of a childhood story that has probably stuck with most of us.  The hare races off to an insurmountable lead, gets distracted by this and that and finally lays down to take a nap.  The turtle plods along and crosses the finish line while the hare awakens in panic.  As a child I remember thinking that at least the hare would only lose one such race, he would learn his lesson and never lose again.  As an adult, I am not so sure – playing the hare has been a role I have played many times in my life.

     There are many sayings that express the value of persistence.  “Slow and steady wins the race.”  “The mighty oak was a tiny acorn.”  “The difference between winning and losing is usually not quitting.”  “Try and try again.”  But the reality is that persistence cannot be taught or bought – it must be done.  Like anything else worthwhile, if a spiritual path were for those that needed it, wanted it, read about it or talked about it the vast majority of us would know joy and peace.  But it is not for those folks – it is for those that steadily, quietly do the work of ridding themselves of the false so that they may know the true.  Regardless of how seemingly small or insignificant, can we find one thing to do now that we can let go of and thus move further along the path?  We always can, and each small step builds our legacy – one small burden relieved or contribution made at a time.

Today, may I be given stamina.  

Have an awesome Monday!!

David

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Magic Potion Discovered !! Meditation for 4/11/14

Charleston SC

News flash - a magic potion has been discovered!!!   

      Aesop (600 BC) said that it is the sign of a noble soul.  Plato (380 BC) said it will turn your life around.  Marcus Cicero (100 BC) said it is the greatest of virtues.  William Blake (1780) said it is heaven itself.  John Jowett (1890) said it is vaccine, anti-toxin and antiseptic.  Tony Robbins (present) said it dissipates fear and brings abundance.  It wards off depression, prevents anguish, soothes scrapes and heals deep wounds.   It breaks down walls of hostility, allows us to live in the present moment, enhances awareness and love, brings humility, is the barometer of serenity and joy, and brings fulfillment to our lives.  Your supply of it increases if you share it with others.  If it is lost or stolen, you can always get more on a moment’s notice.  How much will you pay for this elixir?

     “It” is gratitude – the simple feeling of thankfulness and appreciation.  Its power has been noted through the ages in all cultures.  Gratitude cannot be purchased for any price; it requires only willingness and a bit of effort.  We speak often of making a gratitude list – things that we are grateful for and things we are grateful that we do not have – perhaps this should be a daily thing, done before we retire to sleep when we review our day.  We can find gratitude in the smallest, silliest things, and we can find it in the growth we realize from our greatest trials.  It will take us everywhere we want to be.

Today, may I know gratitude.  

Have an awesome Friday all!!
David

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Someone got your goat? Meditation for 4/9/14

Capers Island; SC

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"The tree of revenge does not carry fruit."  -  Dutch Proverb

"Grace is the voice that calls us to change and gives us the power to pull it off."  - Max Lucado

     Grace is defined as giving free and undeserved favor, honor or credit to someone.  Often the context is the “grace of God,” referring to the fact that when we seek intuitive guidance we are given it freely, regardless of our actions in the past.  The spirit never seeks recrimination against us for our short-comings; an earnest request for connection is always accepted, even after periods of our deepest rebellion.

      But what about our willingness to give grace to others?  Others do things that cause delay us, annoy us, cost us resources and even sometimes injure us.  This can be as minor as someone cutting us off in traffic, representing a lifestyle or belief system we don’t agree with or something as severe as someone causing the death of one we love.  In such cases our instincts cry for us to cause inconvenience, to besmirch, to inflict emotional pain or even injury to an even greater degree than what we perceive we suffered.  Somehow we are convinced that this will both make us feel better about ourselves and thwart the other party from visiting injury on us in the future.  In reality giving grace doesn’t usually even occur to us.  And even if it did, why would we even consider giving it in such circumstances?

     First, let’s look at what happens if we do not give grace.  Holding a resentment does not harm the other; resentments poison us.  And as for revenge – it always sets in motion chains of events that boomerang back on us and cause us even more grief than we already have.  And as to gossiping about someone else in order to alleviate our discomfort – not only does not make us feel better for very long, it ultimately cuts us off spiritually from both the one we gossip about and the one we gossip to.  When we learn to sincerely forgive others, we find that we are by far the biggest beneficiary.

     But what about this grace thing?  How will we benefit from returning an undeserved kindness to someone who harms or slights us?  First, the benefits we receive are unexpected and are not dependent upon whether the other person accepts our kindness or not.  We are fully freed of our anger, and we can come to see that the other person is doing the best they can with what they have – as deficient as that might be.  We free ourselves from the weight of grudges and anger that bog down so many in life.  And as to the other person – darkness never can exist in the presence of light.  When we refuse to prop up negativity with resistance or retaliation, the negativity either dissipates or the person is forced to find somewhere else to exercise it.  It cannot stand on its own.  But more often, the other person realizes that they were in the wrong and responds very positively to our kindness.  Some of our greatest allies in life can come from those who expected retaliation from us but received the opposite.  They usually develop a level of trust for us immediately.

     This is not to say that there is not a time to draw appropriate boundaries.  But putting up walls, holding grudges and seeking revenge are not effective tools.  And ultimately, when we hold ourselves to a higher standard, it is we who benefit the most.

Today, may I be kind.  

Have a great Wednesday !!

David

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Trouble feeling connected? Meditation for 4/8/14

Awendaw; SC

“There remains the feeling that God is on the journey too.”  - Mother Teresa of Avila

“God has no religion.”  - Ghandi 

   The work that it takes to stay in the spiritual zone is not complex, it is simple.  But it is often far from easy and rarely seems to make sense.  For instance, we need to keep showing up, but when we show up it is our job to get out of the way.  What sense does this make?  The ego is certain we have shown because it is so important and has work to do – work that we will perform and then put on suitable displays of humility of course.  But nothing spiritual can come through when we are locked in any of the various faces of ego, and try as we might we will never get the results that come from staying out of the way and just doing the work that intuition specifies.  Indeed, for me it seems that half my energy is spent on getting out of the way.  But it is energy well spent – when I am successful at staying out of the way the results that come seem effortless and are far superior to the results that come about when I am pursuing an agenda.

     The other aspect of this that is difficult is the fact that we are only shown one thing at a time.  I want to know where things are going so I can “properly plan.”  I am not satisfied unless I can see the next ten “right things” to do, and my mind is constantly projecting what those will be.  This gets me off track so often that it undoubtedly is the number one cause when I find myself “out of the zone.”

     I have had this notion that God – or whatever you call that essence we tap into – is all knowing and all seeing.  I have thought that this essence purposely held me on a string, only letting me see one bit at a time as though this were some amusing game or something.  It has led me to get rebellious as I end up feeling like a mule with blinders on, who when he tires of chasing the carrot gets the lash of pain to propel him on.  But the statement above by Mother Teresa gives me pause.  Who says that the spirit knows all of the dynamics, and is aware of whether others are going to tap into the spirit also or will be following their self will?  After all, if the spirit knew everything ahead of time this whole exercise we call life would seem pretty boring for it. 

     If I allow for the notion that God may not have all the answers as it relates to the future it makes me feel a lot more like a partner.  It allows me to be the hands and feet, to be the eyes and the mouthpiece without feeling like I am simply parroting out some role that I have to in order to have peace in my life.  I don’t claim to have the answer, but I find this works better for me.  And, as is the case with any belief, the value of the belief is not in convincing others that it is correct, it is in whether the perspective holds up when the rubber hits the road.  It worked for me again today, I think I will try it again tomorrow.

Today, may I be open.

Have a great Tuesday !!

David

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What is a miracle? Meditation for 4/2/2014

Savannah GA

“There are two ways to live.  You can live as nothing is a miracle; you can live as everything is a miracle.”  - Albert Einstein

“We awaken in others the same attitude of mind that we hold toward them.”  - Elbert Hubbard

     A miracle is defined as an event that cannot be explained by natural or scientific laws.  There was an event that created all of the matter, light, energy, etc in our universe.  Both scientific and natural laws tell us that we cannot create or destroy anything; we can only change the state in which it exists. Thus, by definition, everything that exists is the result of a miracle.

       We can still choose to try to convince ourselves that our universe, our world and our lives originated out of nothing, rush nowhere and are ultimately doomed to end in nothing.  Or we can choose to become aware of the beauty, symmetry and interconnectedness of all.  We can choose to become aware of the role we are supposed to play in its unfolding.  Which viewpoint opens doors and which shuts them?  It is obvious in its simplicity.

     When we become aware and begin to awaken spiritually, we realize we must choose to follow that inner compass which many call God or engage in distractions to avoid our connection with the eternal. The result of our decision is always quite apparent.  We choose appreciation, apathy or distraction, and our universe responds to our decision.

Today, may I see the value and potential in all.   

Have a great Wednesday

David

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