Colleton River Plantation; Bluffton SC
“I refuse to allow another’s negativity to dissuade me from doing the next right thing.” - Anon
“People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway.” - Mother Teresa
We find ourselves in situations where we are forced to deal with other people’s negativity. They have had some event – their “latest crisis” going on and they want to draw us into their chaos. If they are successful in getting to take a position on their “issue” (regardless of whether we sympathize with or oppose their outlook) we fall into the trap of validating their nonsense. But when we ourselves are in spiritually fit condition, we can see clearly when others are being motivated by love or when they are reacting to their own sub-conscious fears. But regardless of how spiritually fit we keep ourselves, we still can feel the pull of our own ego when the curtain lifts on the drama. Sometimes we even become the target of other’s frustration and become “collateral damage” as they justify short-changing their relationship and commitments with us on the basis of some perceived loss they are facing.
These seem like “no-win” situations. If we do not buy into the drama it is as if we had attacked them – we are not “taking them seriously.” In essence we are attacking them personally because they are convinced that their drama (circumstance, political convictions, religious fervor, latest crisis, etc.) is who they are. But alternately, if we buy into their drama and either sympathize or reason with them, we become as sick as they are. In fact sometimes we end up in situations where we feel like an alien being forced to play some idiotic role in some sort of nut-house theater – we are in the midst of a whole group of people acting out roles based upon their own insane anxieties. And if the fear driven negativity of others is further fueled by booze or dope – well, there is absolutely nothing ANYONE could say or do that would bring ANY sanity to the situation.
The only graceful way out of a “no-win” situation is to fully surrender to “what is” and just keep on “doing the next right thing.” Learning that negativity dissolves in the face of non-resistance and love is difficult because it is not our default mode. Our fears try to convince us that if we do not assert ourselves we are somehow going to be “run over.” So, best to just keep it simple. We surrender to “what is,” pray for intuitive guidance, refuse to participate, make sure our side of the street is clean, express that we love them no matter what and exit the situation. We soon look back and realize that the “no-win” situation we were in is irrelevant – we have been lifted above the battlefield and can now move on to somewhere we can make a positive difference. And we find that if we are doing the right things God always has our back – whether we realize it at the time or not.
Today, may I know dignity.
Have a great Monday all