Daufuskie Island; SC
“Pause when agitated.” -
William Wilson
“Assignment of blame is
not a solution.” - Carl Piontek
Having arrived a bit early for an interview I was conducting earlier
today, I was reading a magazine in the lobby of a professional building. Two women who were there were discussing
various tidbits of local news when they realized that they both were there to
see the same doctor – and their appointments were both for 10:30. The one asked the other if she was in pain,
and she said that yes, she was having some pain. The other said she had a lunch appointment with her grand-daughter. The two decided that lunch with a grand-daughter trumped a bit of pain, so they agreed that the one with pain could wait to see the doctor or, if he had
another appointment, could even re-set her appointment to see him early next
week and get by with some tylenol. They then engaged in some pleasant
chit-chat until the doctor came out into the waiting room.
Immediately upon seeing the two women sitting there, the doctor began to
admonish the one woman. He informed her
that she couldn't have had an appointment this week, it had to be next week
because he did not make mistakes in his scheduling book. Both women tried to inform him of their
decision – but he continued his bullying for another few sentences. Finally one of the ladies was able to get him
to listen, and she informed him of their decision. “Oh,” he said, looking a bit confused. “Well, I guess I can see you in an hour then?”
he inquired of the one lady? “Yes, that
would be fine” she replied. The two
women gave each other a knowing look and one walked back toward his office as
the other picked up a magazine to read.
When we are taken off guard it is so easy to think we have to place
blame in order to “protect” ourselves.
But what are we protecting ourselves from? Isn’t it merely our inflated ego demanding
attention and insisting that it be viewed as “right?” And what does this tendency to place blame do
for us? Well, in this case it made the doctor
appear quite vain – and the funny thing about it was he never even realized how
silly he looked.
Assigning blame is never part of a solution. Yes, when we are taken off guard it is hard
to remember to pause and allow ourselves to assess the situation we are
facing. When we feel we are being pulled
in several different directions it is difficult to stop and consider the needs
of others before we shoot off our mouth.
But learning to pause and re-assess a situation can do nothing but make
us more effective in our interactions with others. And more effective interactions with others make
for a much more meaningful life.
Today, may I be available.
Happy Friday all!! David
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