Want to keep your foot out of your mouth? Meditation for 4/15/14

Ashley River; from Magnolia Plantation in Charleston SC

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"A pedestal is as much a prison as any small space."  -  Gloria Steinem

"If you start off playing dumb, you can always play smart later.  If you start off playing smart, you are stuck."  -  Larry "Flintstone" Flintoff

    Why do we think we have to have the answers?  We have no idea what we don't know, and yet we will find ourselves in situations putting ourselves forward as "the expert."  For some folks this turns into the annoying trait of being a "know-it-all,"  but many of us have become sophisticated enough to act like a fount of wisdom without coming off as obnoxious.  And worse yet is our tendency to stick to a comment we have made in the past even though it is erroneous. We will dig a pit out of a pothole in order to make it appear that we weren't "wrong" when we spouted off some grandiose statement in the past.  Why do we do it?  What possible benefit is there to be gained by acting like we have all the answers?

     Of course it is rooted in our fear of inadequacy.  Deep down we fear that if others see us as insufficient we will be abandoned.  So we open our mouth and make statements of "fact" that come back to bite us.  Even if we are right, we have put ourselves in the position that we "have the answers," and this is a much tougher position to operate from than one of humility.

     We have to remember that true learning is the progressive discovery of our ignorance. For every one thing we learn we find out there are ten more we don't know.  (True learning is not sports statistics or knowing the latest outfit a pop star is wearing.)  Can we ask questions and listen to the responses rather than constantly formulating what our next comment will be when others are talking?  Can we allow ourselves the grace to be wrong, and then go a step further and stop thinking we know anything at all?  Can we realize there are exceptions to every rule and that rules will usually be broken?   When we are giving advice, can we frame it based upon a specific experience we have had rather than making sweeping grand statements?

     Slowing down and becoming attuned to what others need rather than what they are saying often helps because people usually focus on symptoms rather than problems.  And on those rare occasions we have to put our self out there as an expert?  If we can remember to do it humbly and in the spirit of helpfulness we will save ourselves much grief.

Today, may I know I am sufficient.

Have a happy Tuesday !!

David

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