Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Life selling you short?

“Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for.”  Marian Edelman

“The victim mentality corrodes the spirit like nothing else.”

     Victim mentality cuts across all class, sex, religious and race lines. It is used as a fear based medium of cohesion taught as an identity from childhood or indoctrinated after membership by a variety of groups.  There are also those born into wealth that feel they are owed more as a birthright.  There are those born poor and taught from childhood that they are due something without work.  There are those who have an incident happen in life, seize upon it and blow it up to a core identity.  In reality, true victims rarely speak out – the vast majority of those who repeatedly vocalize a tale of woe have fallen prey to this horrid frame of mind.  That being a “victim” is found fashionable by many these days only compounds the problem – whole television shows owe their existence to this phenomenon.  And for the one who uses this ploy to get by in life?  They never have enough – they are always due something more.

     Of course there are advantages to the mindset.  Charitable feelings in other people can be taken advantage of. Once they are used up, new people can always be found to dupe.  One has a ready dialogue to use with any they meet, as others are hesitant to act any way but compassionate when confronted with a tale of woe.  One does not have to engage in positive actions or take responsibility because there is a built in alibi to not risk or acknowledge failure.  One can defend taking any advantage, outright stealing and any other behavior as they were “just getting what was due them.”  Of course, they are entitled because they are a victim.  And, of course they become a victim all over again and again because no amount received is ever as much as they are entitled to.  Over time the tale of woe grows, and one spirals ever deeper into this cesspool. Because the inner spirit always knows the truth, the resultant inner turmoil always requires grander schemes to keep at bay.

     There is a way out.  First and most difficult is recognizing the behavior and being ok with not being a victim.  Learning gratitude and quietly helping others who have true problems will help shift our identity away from the victim status.  Learning to be one of the human race rather than always trying to find something that makes us exceptional or different helps.  But at the core, it is an issue of taking responsibility for our actions, our lives and our spirituality.

Today, may I avoid the “entitlement” mentality.

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Have a happy Thursday !!

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