Beaufort SC
“Leadership is based on cooperation,
not intimidation.” - Arthur Ward
“Every kind of peaceful cooperation
among men is based upon mutual trust.” -
Albert Einstein
Some people seem better able to
obtain cooperation from others on a regular basis. If we want to improve on this skill, we ought
to look at the difference between a request and a demand. A request is the act of politely or
courteously asking for something as a favor.
A demand is an insistent request, made as if by right and delivered with
an implied consequence for failure to comply.
When someone threatens, twists our arm or otherwise tries to coerce us
into something they want, even if we do comply there is usually a sour taste in
our mouth, and there is the temptation to maneuver in the future so that we are
not in a position to be compromised by them.
It is that underlying “or else,” that goes with a demand that is often
the most grating. It might work once,
but making demands just about assures that there will be greater resistance in
the future to attempts to solicit cooperation.
It would make sense then to be about how we phrase our requests for
cooperation and assistance. When we make
a demand we are in a position to be “hurt” if the other party says “no.” There may be emergency situations where the
hurt is physical, but these are few and far between. Our fear of loss has us state a consequence
if the other does not help us, but even if the consequence is naturally
occurring the other party still has the option to say “no” and accept the
consequence.
Our goal ought to be obtaining enthusiastic cooperation and creating a
feeling of mutual respect and goodwill between us and other parties that lasts
long after the immediate situation is resolved.
Threats, manipulation and coercion are just not as effective in the long
run as politely asking, offering rewards, encouraging teamwork and staying
within the boundaries of what others are capable of or willing to offer. If we make sure our requests are legitimate, pay
attention to the words and posture we use when making them and hold up our end
of the bargain, all involved will benefit.
To contact me, click Here. If you would like to contribute to this effort, Click Here. And whatever you do, have a
Happy Tuesday !!
David
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