“Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.” - William Wilson
“Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, nobody was there.” - Unknown
It took me a long time to understand how pervasive fear is. I used to think that if I didn’t fear death, verbal or physical confrontation then I was not a fearful person. Little did I know. I fear getting things I do not want. (illness, IRS audits, etc.) I fear not getting things I do want. (Children having decent lives, having resources to work with, etc.) In fact, in the journey I am on right now – each time I move on to a new area I feel fear. I work for a couple of weeks to establish relationships, and I then cling to those even though I know that real security lies in having the faith to continue following the path. Fears (of the anxiety type) are but fantasies, my brain out of control projecting calamity. If I can remain self-aware and acknowledge them for what they are, I have a chance to use the tools available to deal with them. But if I am the least bit complacent my mind will step in with all manner of rationalizations as to why I should cling to the familiar. This in spite of the fact that I know from experience that each time I move on awesome new vistas appear.
We speak of choosing to live life as though everything is a miracle or nothing is a miracle, and the barrenness of living with an attitude of negativity. Fear poses a similar stark choice. Do I want to live in doubt and anxiety, convinced that I must force my will and my vision upon everything around me or all will be lost? Do I want to convince myself that clinging to the known is superior to having the faith to step once again into the unknown? Or do I want to live with confidence that if I pray for knowledge of and then follow the path laid out for me that the answers and resources necessary will be there when needed? It is always in hind-sight that we see how it works every time, but following the path often requires courage. We are well served to realize the fallacy of our fears and stay close to the sources that give us the encouragement we need. Otherwise we are merely existing; we have never really lived at all.
Today, may I know faith. D.Emch
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