Why are you angry? Meditation for 5/7/14

Dataw Island; SC

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“Anger always comes from frustrated expectation.”  - Elliott Larson

“Expectations are the keys to resentments.”   -  Anon

         Keeping our expectations realistic is something within our power.  But as much as we would like to convince ourselves otherwise, we hold no power over other people, places and situations.  Yet so often we still expect (forecast, suppose, presume, surmise) things to conform to our desires.  When they do not, we get angry, and when this worsens the situation we get resentful and manipulative.  These worsen the situation, and we either lash out or withdraw.  It is one of the most negative cycles we get into, and it is readily predictable based upon the conviction with which we hold expectations that we will get “our way.”  And regardless of how many times we find out otherwise, we still convince ourselves that we know what is best for us and launch ourselves into the cycle again and again. 

     Expectations are forecasts – we are not where our feet are when we make them; we are presuming to divine the future.  Based upon we think we want and what actions we figure will obtain this for us, we develop this prophesy to fit what we suppose the outcome of our efforts will be.  Now we have a vested interest – our self esteem is on the line.   So on top of everything else, when things to not go our way our self-esteem is bruised, and in the resulting huff we miss the realistic opportunities that did present themselves.   

     This does not mean we do not trust our fellows.  It just means that we come to understand that we make unrealistic expectations based upon desires that are rooted in the fear that things must go this or that way or we will not be happy.  We can choose to quit setting ourselves up for anger and resentments.  We quit trying to control other people – which was an impossible expectation of ourselves to start with.  Realizing that we are reacting to fear allows us to understand what we are anxious about and allows us to accept reality.  Only then are we able to be fully present in the moment; able to respond to the situations life presents us regardless of what they are.  It all comes back to self awareness – do we choose to allow our ego’s constant fearful projections to run our lives or do we come to be comfortable with ourselves and engage life as it is?  We make this decision every moment whether we choose to be aware of it or not.

Today, may I check my motives.   

Have a great Wednesday !!

David

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