What do you have coming? Meditation for 7/7/14

Pawley's Island; SC

“Self pity is easily the most addictive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, it gives momentary pleasure and it separates the victim from reality.”  - John W. Gardner

"Don’t feel entitled to anything you didn’t personally sweat and struggle for."  - Marian Edelman

     Perhaps no frame of mind sets us up for disappointment more often than the attitude that we are entitled to preferential treatment, a particular lifestyle or really anything else in life.  Studying this attitude, its causes and manifestations is probably one of the most revealing of any human studies we could take on.

     First, entitlement usually comes from one of two hidden attitudes.  There is the superiority complex and there is the victim mentality.  Both are equally poisonous spiritually, and it seems that because both are constructs of our imagination they co-exist in the same individual to the same degree.  In other words, to the precise extent someone thinks they are superior they usually also consider themselves to be a “victim of circumstances.”  After all, we have to justify all those times we fall short of our unrealistic expectations.  The other end of the spectrum happens as well – to the degree on things they are a “victim” they manufacture a mindset of exclusivity. 

     Out of this poisonous mix comes the attitude that one is entitled.  Sometimes it may be aggravated by having grown up with “the silver spoon in one’s mouth.” Other times one may consider themselves so far intellectually superior that they float above their fellows.  Maybe one is overly proud of their physical prowess or consider themselves to be attractive.  Maybe one was brought up with their parents and other social groups telling them that they belong to a group that is “chosen” or “superior.”  Wherever it comes from, the outcome is the same.  It makes for a person who is miserable in their own skin and a pain for others to deal with.  Whether it is cutting in line in traffic or whining and wheedling for some trinket the attitude is sure to distance one further and further from reality and from their fellows.  Soon, all manner of abhorrent behavior is “justified” on the basis that one “had this or that due.”   Over time the individual becomes more and more frustrated as happiness never comes with any of the things they beg, borrow and steal.  They become ever more contentious with their fellows and are doomed to meaningless relationships.  They also view those that are truly in need as “competitors” and accuse most everyone else in sight of the thing they hate most about themselves – their entitlement mentality.

     So, the next time we think we “deserve” this or that, we need to consider standing atop a table, shaking our fist at the sky and demanding that God give us what we really deserve.  Contemplating this exercise will usually bring us to our senses pretty quickly.  And when others start talking about what they “deserve?”  We are well advised to either draw very clear boundaries quickly or put some distance between them and us, for otherwise we are sure to become the object of their irrational wrath the next time their expectations are not met.

Today, may I want what I have. 

Happy Monday !

David

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